My Happy Place When I Want Everything To Go Away
When you are down and out do you have a
happy place you go to when you want to just get away from the world. When I
feel depressed I just close my eyes and act like I’m not apart of the world
anymore because I have so many problems. When I go to this happy place I feel
very peaceful and relaxed because no one bothers me in this world that I want
to live. I love having this place because the life that I live in now isn’t
easy because I have so many responsibilities as a 17 year old, I take care of
my two year old niece because her Mom is almost never there for her when she
needs her I’m practically her mom I do everything that a mom is supposed to do
for her child.
In elementary and middle school I was
bullied because of my weight and height I wasn’t a skinny girl I was chubby and
tall. I tried to get help from people at school but no one believed because
they thought I was strong because I was fat and tall. People called me names
like hippo, fatty, dinosaur and many more names I would not like to speak of.
My life got really bad in middle school when guys harassed me and girls used to
jump me and pick on me no one wanted to help me I started to think about how
the world will be if I wasn’t apart of it anymore so I started to cut myself
everyday and wear long clothes to hide the cars of my pain. After I used to cut
for so long it didn’t do anything but just numb me in March of 2012 was my
first attempt to commit suicide as I was about to try and hang my mom walked in
and saw the belt wrapped around my neck and she took me down and held me and
cried and I started crying I felt stupid after that lie why would I want to
leave this world and leave main person who cared about me behind.
My mom used to tell me about her past
and what she went through and how she used to have the same thoughts when she
used to be a drug addict. She used to tell me about how she felt when she got
high and about what she used to do she told me about what she used to do to get
her drugs she decided to get clean about 10 years ago but now she drinks alt
and she gets abusive when she gets drunk and likes to go crazy and hit me and attack
me with things.
Now you see why I go to my happy place
You might be tall and thick but that what makes you beautiful and unique. Sometimes I wish I could be tall
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ReplyDeleteMcKnight! Cool write up and I love that you shared some deep emotions! I love this project because I get to learn so much about you all and how lucky I am to be with you all! Such an honor! I am thankful your mom found you! Take these steps from your past and pave a new future for yourself in the process! Much love and I appreciate you opening up!
ReplyDeleteLife is tough but you learn from your ecperienc. Take it as consideration to make a better lifestyle for yourself as you get older. Make your pathway, and F*** what them kids say about you because your BEAUTIFUL ANYWAYS YOU ARE , your born the way your are. Being bullied ive been there in middle school, I've bullied before got in trouble n learned not to do that because WORDS HURT MORE THEN ACTION.. Suicide I thought was my prevention to leave this world, cutting leaves u scars. ~keep your head up baby girl ~
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